Depressed

I have no idea why but I feel so depressed. Feel like crying today. Infact, cried twice over stupid matters. It is not because of studies, because exams had been over. But was over few issues that left me feeling demoralised and disappointed.

First is my 21st bdae. I requested not to have a party. But to me, 21st bdae was just a normal day, with nth unusual because my mom was sick, my sis was busy with her work, my bro was in camp while the other with my dad were busy. But they asked me to find a place to eat. First ting first, I dunnoe why it bothers me so much, it is stupid but seems like it is my bdae but I am the one doing the searching. And, I have no cake because everyone is busy, so my mom asked me to buy one myself. Secondly, I have driving lessons, i regretted cancelling a few on the day itself cause I had a normal lunch and my bf was busy with work. My bros didnt even bother asking or wishing me. Some of my few close friends forgot my bdae, yet I am glad that those not close to me wished me as well. I feel upset that it was my bdae but I had to plan everyting! Their bdae, I planned and searched and wished them. What abt mine?! I hated this bloodly feeling. Maybe I am too sensitive or just making tings out of nth, but I hate this un-special 21st. Whatever.

Maybe this makes it big because of my driving lessons. I took 4 lessons the whole day and it upsets me that I did badly for all, those immediate fail kind, when I tried so hard. Worst, next week is my test. I hate hate hate this kind of feeling!

It comes worse that I kept telling myself that it is okie to fail, but I just hate it when I tried so hard, yet end up like shit. I kept telling myself to take tings easy, but I cant convince myself.  To add on, my bf is leaving sg in like 2 weeks time and I have no idea when he would be back to sg esp when his family is in Dubai. Why? Why? Why?!

XJ, please please please,take tings easy. Please....

Comments

[K3iTh]

Oops :X uh haha..